If you follow my blog, you may recall when I wrote this post. I thought I would share with you today a follow-up to that post. After finding out I have yet another reoccurrence of ovarian cancer and with 2 months of being off my previous treatment drug, tomorrow will mark the day that I will be revisiting a cancer room filled with patients who are also fighting to battle cancer. It’s been 4-years since I sat in a chemo room and tomorrow will most likely bring back lots of memories filled with sadness, despair, and troubled thoughts. I can recall the very first time I underwent chemo, I sat on a teal colored recliner with a white hospital blanket around me. A kind and gentle nurse sat beside me on a stool and was ready to insert the IV in my arm, I shouted out in a trembled voice “wait”. I was not ready as my heart was pounding and I felt a tear stream down my face. The nurse patiently waited for me to take a deep breath and told me “it’s ok, take your time”. Through the years, I’ve certainly learned that positive thinking and envisioning good things happening is quit powerful. So as I sit in my chair tomorrow, ready to receive this drug, I will close my eyes and imagine this liquid drug as it travels my veins to be my army of fighters! My fighters will assess the situation, look at where the disease is, target the diseased areas and douse them with this liquid drug! I will continue my days with thoughts of my future and daydreaming of all the wonderful things I still want to happen in my life.
When you find yourself in a life changing situation, it’s easy to take your mind to a bad place filled with doubt and negative thoughts that internally can make you sick and stressed. It certainly has happened to me on more than one occasion! Not to mention, I think i have about three zits on my face, NOT pretty! We are all human and sometimes, yes it’s easier said then done but if you try to exercise your mind in positivity, it will make it easier to pull through a difficult time, such as this. Of course there will be times when I need to cry or get mad but rather than holding it in, I get it out and once I release it, I try to move on from it because holding it and trying not to deal with it isn’t healthy either. Am I scared? Heck yeah! I now have to endure the possible side effects that come with this new drug and it may be my new way of living for a while in having to cope and get used to certain symptoms but it’s part of my journey, the road to finding ways to keep me alive. Whenever my mind wants to take me to thoughts of why?! I think of this… I have a birthday coming up on July 25th and God has given me yet another year of life. This is my GIFT! I am blessed!
To all my cancer survivors out there and to those currently battling with disease, be brave, stay strong and fight! For all the caretakers out there whether it be our parents, spouses, siblings, friends, neighbors…always know that your love and dedication to who you look after and take care of does not go unnoticed. Your thoughtfulness, kind-hearted gestures and giving hearts are not forgotten and we are forever grateful! You are our angels.
Take care and thanks for reading! xo
-Photo by Rose Angel Lopez / “Warrior” Temporary Tattoo by My Baby Olive Juice
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