Posts Tagged ‘life’
I am chasing moments in nature’s treat.
That is what I did last week when we packed our luggage and drove to our favorite beach in Delaware. We decided to take our summer week vacation and return to a favorite place that we know and love. We have visited this beach every year for the past seven years. It started back in May of 2010 when I had just finished my last cycle of chemo. After undergoing six months of this treatment, we needed to go to a place that was within driving distance and wanted to feel calm and relaxed, yet still experience new places to eat and shop. When we return to that place, specific memories feed our anticipation for the trip. Whenever we arrive to the beach, we still have that feeling of it’s still “our” place, there are familiar spots, due to the connection we made.
Since I had a procedure in late July to remove a cancerous tumor that grew, we knew it would be beneficial to go back to our favorite beach…behind every storm is a little bit of sunshine. The beach for us is a place for recharging our body, mind and spirit. What better way to start the day then by heading to the beach in the early morning hours, before the crowd arrives and having time for yourself to take in the beauty around you. Living in the moment and living the simple pleasures of putting your toes in the sand, feeling the warm sun rays on your face, and listening to the soothing waves crashing, brings a sense of tranquility. Peace fills my soul of being hopeful for better tomorrows.
One of the items I had on my bucket list was to watch the sunrise over the ocean. I was happy to have checked that item off my list a few years back – it was one of those not-to-be-missed experiences. As you know, since I love to style tablescapes and create sets, another item on my bucket list was to create and capture an intimate beach imagery. While I envisioned something on a larger scale and have it photographed by a professional, I took the opportunity to go for it, on a more intimate level.
Surrounded by nature’s inspiration, capturing the perfect moment was influenced by sitting on the stretches of sand, gazing over the infinite ocean view and exploring the beach sunrise. I created a table for two and the ocean was truly a fascinating backdrop. The tablescape was a small table for two that was low enough to be seated directly on the sand. I used a color palette of creamy neutrals that mimics the color of the sand, a soft peach that resembles one of the colorful hues seen as the sun rises, and aqua blue drinking glasses resembling the ocean water. I used natural elements for the table decor like seashells and driftwood. For a relaxing, yet romantic feel, I paired vintage brass candlestick holders and chose grey-colored candlesticks that echo the color of beach pebbles.
As you scroll through the pictures below, you will notice I was able to capture the stages of the sunrise. Viewed in person, it is one of the most scenic, and breathtaking sight you will see!
Sun peeking over the horizon.
Illuminating golden glow.
Have you seen a sunrise yet? What is at the beach too or somewhere else? Let me know in the comments section below what place you experienced in, I’d love to know!
-Photos by Rose Angel Lopez
Yes! Today is my birthday and I couldn’t be happier…even with what I am going through.
As I reflect on the past seven months, I recall the first day of the new year and waking up in our own bed after spending three months between NY and NJ for a surgery I underwent. You can read more about that and my journey in this post. To return to a place you call home, to all familiar things, smells, and glimpses of happy memories as you look around. All of that brung me a smile to my face..all of which gave me a sense of normalcy from all that I had endured prior to.
The next couple of months thereafter were spent recovering and coming to grips with what my “new normal” is and dealing with the emotions that come along with not feeling like your old self, pre-surgery. My new normal consists of daily naps and not being able to function like I used to. Gone are the days when I could tackle cleaning the house in one afternoon. Now, I’m lucky if I can get through cleaning two rooms in the house without exhausting myself. Whenever I over exert myself and by that I mean, doing too much moving around, frequently going up and downstairs, walking a lot…these everyday movements are now a challenge for me. I have to conserve my energy otherwise, I can burn myself out quickly, develop cramping and discomfort. When this occurs, I then have to take medicine and lay down for 20-30 minutes in order for my body to relax so that I can continue doing other things that are not so strenuous to my body. I am reminded of this daily and there are days when I am emotionally frustrated at what my ‘new normal’ is.
From the outside, I look just fine. You know the saying…”Look Good, Feel Good”? Well, that is what I do to maintain my “old self”. I put on my makeup, style my hair, and look the part of a healthy woman. But inside, I’m not so healthy. I recently found out that after having 12 cancerous tumors removed last year November, I now have three areas of disease I need to be concerned with…so here we go again! If you follow me on instagram, you may recall when I posted this caption where I expressed how I celebrate all of life’s joys and how I go on with my everyday. It really helps me to put focus on things that make me happy, things I want to continue to do and pursue. Doing this keeps me in a positive mindset so that I am not constantly thinking about the negative and putting me in a place of sadness. Despite my health, everyday I find joy (big or small) and love that I get to share it with the one I love. I’ve been very blessed this year where God made something very special happen for me – I hope to share this with you soon, in another post.
This Thursday I am to undergo a procedure in order to kill one of the tumors that is the largest in size and appears to be more aggressive than the other two. What’s my birthday wish, you wonder? Well, it doesn’t come wrapped in a box tied with a pretty ribbon. Nope my birthday wish is not something one can buy or make. If every birthday candle brought me a new wish, I would repeat my wish for good health.
Go ahead – celebrate your life, your heart, and the everyday joys!
-Photos by Design by Occasion
Cancer tells me if you fall, you won’t survive. I say, I may shed many tears but I will fight, so don’t try to steal my life! Cancer can take a lot away from me but what it can’t take away is happiness, faith, love and joy!
It’s been exactly three months since my last blog post. I’ve missed my “normal” life of doing what I love; one of which is sitting at my desk and posting daily on this blog. While I designate my blog for lifestyle topics, I rarely use this platform to speak on personal matters, nevermind posting images of myself. However, I have in the past shared my ongoing ovarian cancer battle of ten years. I would like to take this opportunity to follow-up from my last post and share my very personal journey with you. I must warn you that I will be sharing intimate details – which puts me in a vulnerable state but I think it’s important to share my experiences to those who may be dealing with a similar situation or know someone who is.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I was supposed to undergo chemo since a few of the tumors that were being monitored were not responding to the many different hormonal treatments I had been receiving the past seven years. Since I started getting intense and unbearable pain on my backside, I was now ‘systematic’ and had to have surgery instead.
On November 14, 2016 we had our suitcases ready to go and the car was packed as if we were leaving for an indefinite period of time. Before we got into the car, my partner’s mother and my mother stopped by the house before we left. We all sat in the living room and my partner’s mother started to pray the rosary. After prayer, we all got up, hugged each other and cried tears of hope yet, despair. We wiped our tears and said our goodbyes. I layed in the back seat of the car, hoping not to be in too much pain during the long 6-hour drive to my sister’s house in Jersey. My partner turned on the radio and ironically, Bob Marley ‘Everything’s Gonna Be Alright’ was playing…we smiled. In the early morning of November 18th, I woke up, showered, put on my leggings, a warm sweater, sneakers and prepared my mind for what I was about to go through. My sister, partner and I got in the car and headed into the city and at 1:30PM, I was wheeled into surgery for removal of several cancerous tumors and a possible ileoscopy bag would be inserted. Before they took me back to the operating room, my partner, my sister and I took a couple of bonding pics and as we said “see you later”, we gave each other hugs and kisses. I held onto my Virgin Mary prayer card (I carry it with me everywhere) and my partner held onto my rosary. As I was wheeled into the very cold operating room, I looked around at the large room filled with machines, trays of surgical tools, and all the doctors and nurses in motion preparing for what they were about to do. I immediately felt my body shake of nervousness and tears started to roll down my face. It was now time for the needle to go in my vain for the anesthesia. The anesthesiologist saw how scared I was so he moved closer to me, looked into my eyes and without a blink and such certainty said “You are going to be alright”. I remember feeling a sense of calmness and relief. You know they say that sometimes God speaks to you through other people – I was hoping that was in fact God relaying that message to me! The radiologist then patted my arm and that was my last memory before falling into a sedative state.
At 11:00PM, the surgeon came out to speak with my sister and partner and said the surgery went well – he removed all of the cancer (12 tumors to be exact). The surgeon had to cut into my existing scar from a prior surgery but had to cut a little more. He made a 20″inch cut from under my chest area down to my pelvic area. The tumor that was causing me the most pain, was the largest tumor (the size of a small grapefruit) and was located on my rectum. Since he had to remove the cancerous tumor from my rectum, he also had to insert a temporary ileoscopy bag, where my bowels will not pass through my long intestine and out of my backside. Any food I eat will only pass through my small intestine and into the bag. This procedure is done as a precautionary measure to avoid leakage from my colon. The colon is brought out through my skin on the right side, close to my belly button to form a colostomy (In some of the pictures you see in this post, I decided not to reveal the bag and covered it with flowers). This new outlet is pink and moist like the inside of the mouth and is called a stoma. During my pre-op appointment, when I first learned that this was a possibility of me having this, I of course cried in front of the nurse. “Why can’t things be simple”, I thought! Another thing I have to deal with! The thought of me having to wear this bag and seeing my stoma made me squirmish and scared. I later found out that I also needed a blood transfusion during surgery.
After my surgeon gave my sister and my partner the good news of a successful surgery, they were allowed to stop in the recovery room to see me. I remember opening my eyes and seeing my loving partner’s face and I smiled. I then saw my sister’s sweet face and I don’t remember what happened after that. I was told that I started to moan that I was in pain. They were told by the nurse they had to leave. Apparently, my blood pressure was low and they had to monitor me. Until my blood pressure was at a normal level, they could not move me to a room. It was so late in the evening that my sister had to leave to go home but she made sure to stay around until she was able to see me first. My partner had to wait another 4 1/2 hours before being notified that my blood pressure is back to normal and they will be transferring me to a room!
I was in the hospital for 11 days. I remember being so drugged up and two nurses walked in on the second day after surgery to inform me that they want me to sit up and walk to the chair, located near my bed. Now I may have been drugged up and groggy but I do remember thinking….“Are they f*#$!g crazy!!!” I was just cut open, hands were moving shit around inside of me and they want me to not only sit up but physically get out of bed to walk to a chair…they have certainly lost their ever freakin mind!! But being that I am strong person (at least I try to be) I attempted to at least sit up. With the help of the nurses, I remember being in a sitting position and I got dizzy, I could not keep my eyes open. They were telling me to open my eyes and then proceeded to wave alcohol wipes under my nose. That helped for a second before I felt myself slumping over back into a laying position. It just was not going to happen that day! The next day, I was more in a conscious state and told my partner, since I am in an automatic bed, each day I am going to move the bed into a higher sitting position so that it will be easier for me to sit up in a full upright position. It totally worked and I think a gradual process is much better than that of an extreme one!
After a few days of laying in a hospital bed, I knew I had to start moving around. I felt my body so heavy and with all the fluid in my IV, my feet and legs blew up! I gained 10 lbs of fluid…pfff! Since I spent so many days in the hospital, I had three different roommates who also had cancer and were dealing with similar situations. It’s funny but there is a curtain that divides the room in half and us patients can still carry a conversation with the other person, get to know each other, exchange stories and not even see each others faces. The only time you may get a peek of their face is if they are going to the restroom or to take a walk in the hospital hallways. One of my roommates, I actually saw at a glance and she looked very young. She appeared to be in her mid-twenties and was the sweetest girl who I can tell was in a lot of pain. She was released a couple of days of me meeting her. I remember a few days later, I was walking in the hospital hallway (as part of my required exercise) with my sister and saw a woman on a stretcher in the middle of the hallway. As I got closer, I grabbed her hand and said “Weren’t you my roommate?” She stared at me for a quick second and responded, “Yes!” She asked how I was doing and I replied “Each day is different but I’m hanging in there.” My eyes started to water and I tried hard to hold back the tears and said “I’m sorry to see you back”. She replied, “I know, but it’s ok, we have to be strong”. I told her that I would pray for her and said Godbless & good luck. She wished me the same. My sister and I walked back to my room and I began to tell my sister a little about our encounter. I remember tearing up again because I thought, how unfair! She is so young and I started to then worry if I would be just like her where I would end up back in the hospital – and unfortunately that’s exactly what happened to me. I immediately said a prayer for her healing.
On November 28th, I was released from the hospital and we drove back to my sister and brother-in-law’s house. It felt so good to be in a different and familiar environment. But that didn’t last long because on December 8th, due to the pain I was feeling, I underwent a CT scan and the radiologist found I developed an abscess and admitted me to ER that same afternoon. I spent another 7-days in the hospital. This abscess was causing fluid to drain out of my body, which was not supposed to occur. I had to undergo a procedure where they had to make a small incision on my left buttock and inserted a tube that was connected to a bag for the fluid to drain in. I was so mad and scared at having this procedure done. Oh yes, I cried again and hard this time!! In order to prep me for this procedure, they wanted me to lay flat on my stomach. I thought – are these people for real?! I haven’t even started to heal yet! My damn stomach is still raw, I have an open wound, and my insides hurt from being moved around and they want me to lay on it?! My tears turned from scared tears to pissed tears! Luckily, there was a kind nurse who had such a wonderful bedside manner. She held my hand and comforted me until I was sedated from the anesthesia. I remember waking up in such pain. Even though they hooked me up to a PCA button, when the medicine wore off, the pain was excruciating. I can’t even explain the feeling – it was if they inserted a rock and it was sitting on a nerve. I couldn’t sleep or sit comfortably. It was so hard to get in a good position that I can relax in. The pain was so bad that when I walked, my left leg was numb and I had to drag that leg. After two days (due to my discomfort), they removed the tube and I had to undergo yet another procedure to relocate the tube to another area. Let’s just say that after another three days, that too was removed because the fluid was not coming out in a quick enough pace as they thought it would. The end result was to have the fluid release naturally. I was released from the hospital and we drove back to my sister’s house. As I laid in the back of the car, I remember looking up and seeing the New York city lights and it looking so festive with Christmas trees being sold on the street corners and decorated department store windows. I thought – oh, how much of the normal everyday I missed, especially during my favorite holiday season!
When we arrived at my sister’s house, I noticed she had a tree up and decorated around the house. It was so pretty and I was so happy to not have to spend another holiday in the hospital. Since my partner and I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital and my sister & brother-in-law were going to be around on Christmas Eve, we decided to cook a Thanksgiving meal and enjoy it on that day. Because I was still recovering, there wasn’t much I could do to help with the preparation of dinner. My body was that of an elderly woman. I walked slow and slightly humped over, I couldn’t sit or stand for a long period of time – even going up and down the stairs took my breath away. The hospital sent me home with a spirometer lung exercise device to strengthen my lungs. It was going to take a long time before I could regain my strength back. My contribution however, was to set up the table! You guys know how much I enjoy creating a tablescape! It surely took a lot out of me though because I found myself having to lay down. Oh, how the simplest of things that we take for granted! It took about two weeks before I could start to lay down on my side and about a month before I had enough balance so that I could shave my own legs!
I had decided to get out of my daily wear of PJ’s and spruce myself up for the holiday occasion. My sister lent me a pretty white lace blouse to wear, I put on a pair of leggings, put my hair in a topknot and even put on a little makeup. When my partner walked in the room and saw me, my partner’s eyes were filled with tears and all I heard was… “OMG, your back and you look beautiful!”. I immediately responded, “Hey! That’s the look you are to give me when you see me come down the aisle at our wedding!” My partner responded…“Oh, I will again!” We then gave each other a grateful embrace.
Soon after my post op appointment, on January 31st – New Year’s Eve, we got cleared by my doctors that we can go home! My partner and I were beyond thrilled to be walking back into our house and even more ecstatic that is where we will be starting the new year!
So what is my health condition today, you ask? I am still on restrictions. Don’t let these pictures fool you. In actuality, after this shoot, I immediately got into my pajamas, took my medication and went to bed! My outside appearance may look good – I mean afterall isn’t that the goal with hair and makeup??? I just need to have my inside match my outside appearance. I still have the issue with the fluid draining. This week my surgeon called and recommended that I meet with a GI Oncologist to exam me and see what options I have to have the fluid stop draining so that I can start the healing process. I am scheduled for an MRI of my rectum and will have to be under anesthesia since it will be an uncomfortable procedure. I’m sure I am going to dread this! During the procedure, both doctors will be able to better assess what the next steps are so that I can have surgery in order to revert my colon back to the way it was. After this surgery, I am expected to be in the hospital for up to four days. Recovery time after this surgery is 2-3 weeks and it will take approximately 2-3 months for my incision to heal. I currently have a lifting and carrying restriction of no more than 15 lbs, I can only sit in a chair for a duration of no more than 4 hours (yep, this post took me 4-days to write!) I cannot stand for a long period of time either. My surgeon reminded me that any extraneous activity will tire me out because I had a major surgery and its expected. Only time will give me back my strength and stamina. I underwent a CT exam a couple of weeks ago and a nodule appeared. The doctors can’t tell if this cancerous or not – they can only monitor it at this point. I pray it’s not!!
As for this blog, I will not be able to post everyday but whenever I get days that I feel good and have something inspiring to share, I will definitely will! So please feel free to stop by and check-in!
We are saddened that our wedding had to be postponed (twice!) but we are looking forward to good news ahead so that we can move forward with continuing to plan for our wedding! We want to be able to celebrate our special day and to be free of concerns from this awful disease having an effect on us.
I’ve asked my partner to share on this post…
My partner asked me to write about our journey these past few months. I’m really not ready to reflect because we are still in fight-mode but if I have to try, here it goes…
I will start by saying, we experienced the grace of GOD and it surrounded us every step of the way. His love and mercy hugged us in our darkest moments and gave us light to see and hope to hold. It’s hard for me to look back because it reminds me of all the pain my baby endured. All the strength it took to get to the next day. All the feelings of despair but never letting go of courage. I’m always amazed by how strong she is! One’s strength shows up when the will to live outweighs everything else. It’s been a long and hard fight but we take it one day at a time. Rose is scarred but not broken! She is so loved and had so many people praying for her that I knew it would carry us. With GOD by our side, we can face any fight and not even cancer can take our hope. Here’s to better days ahead and praying that our hopes are answered. Life is precious so love hard, live right and never give up! Stay strong and convinced that you will win the war even though the battles have kicked our ass. We will RISE, my love!
I have to thank so many people for showing me so much love! I couldn’t be more grateful to my sister & brother-in-law for opening up their home to us during my recovery time. To my wonderful, always smiling and concerned little sister for combing my knotty hair in the hospital and making sure I didn’t look like a hot mess – thank God for dry shampoo! I thank her for bringing me special luxury toiletries to make me feel and smell good! I also thank her for shaving my legs in the hospital because let’s be honest…after four days without shaving, my legs can be confused for those of a man!! To my brother-in-law for making the guest room comfortable and for giving up your cable box so that I can watch TV instead of just the four walls! To my mother who took care of our furry – four-legged son while we were in the hospital and for stopping by each week to help clean our house. To my father who prayed each day and had the church pray for me during Sunday mass. For all the constant prayers from family, relatives, closest friends, and acquaintances. To my cousins and my childhood priest who came on a few occasions to visit me in the hospital. To all those who lovingly sent bouquets and bouquets of get well flowers and to my friends and acquaintances who sent thoughtful gifts my way. To my hairdresser and friend who traveled to my home to fix my messy mane, cut away my damaged locks and gave me a new look. To all the nurses who cared for me and for my surgeon and oncologist for making me feel more than “just a patient”. To my at-home visiting nurse, Benny who packed my wound everyday to ensure it was healing ok and made me laugh along the way. To my physical therapist at the hospital for assisting me to take my very first walk, for encouraging me to walk more than one lapse around the hospital hallway and to also go up from two stairwell steps to four. To my partner’s mother (who I believe has a direct dial to God) for all her prayers. To my future brother-in-law who’s kindness and support has been priceless to us. To all of my future nieces and nephews who always checked-in with support and love. To my wonderful Godmother and Aunt who are both struggling with their own severe health issues made the time to check-in with us, and most of all to my partner who was by my side every step of the way!! Your love, compassion, dedication, strength, and constant support is what kept me going! You continue to give me strength when I need a hand, you never left my side, you lift my spirits when I need to smile, you let me cry when I’m in despair, and even in my worst days, you still look at me as you did the first time we met! Thank you for welcoming all my scars and embracing them as a symbol of a fighter and warrior! I know it has not been easy, at times overwhelming, and the many sleepless nights (both in and out of the hospital) in order to make sure I was ok. Your selflessness to me and even to other patients in the hospital – I believe will come back to you in blessings. I couldn’t be more blessed with a love like ours!
A special thanks to my friend and super-talented photographer, Autumn – for capturing such beautiful pictures! You are the only one I felt comfortable enough to see me in such a vulnerable way. Should there be any dark days ahead (which I hope not), I will look at these pictures and know that even though I felt and looked like I went through hell and back, these pictures will be a constant reminder that I can and will survive! To the fabulous Jacki, makeup artist extraordinaire…thank you so much for taking this face of mine and transforming it in a way that made me feel beautiful again! I felt that with all the stress, I’ve aged quite a bit. The drugs made my skin feel fragile and dry and the unforgettable amount of needles that went in and out of my skin caused an insane amount of bruising and swelling. To date, my daily wardrobe consists of PJ’s and/or loungewear – it was a nice break to look and feel good again – even if it was just for a day!
To all those who are battling cancer or any health issue for that matter, I know it’s a tough fight and there are times when you want to give up because the pain and suffering feels too much to bear but please know that what feels like you cannot handle, in fact you can. I had to go through that emotion twice in my lifetime. Look for support to get you out of that negative space. Focus on the good things you want to happen in your life! Constantly envision your future – I believe our thoughts and words we put out in the universe are strong and can come to fruition. For me, I also pray for mercy during the toughest times and ask God to rid me of this cancer and may it not come back. Try to remove all negative thoughts from your mind and if they happen to pop up, replace that thought would a positive one.
In the midst of all of this, I make every attempt not to let this disease take over me, my mind, mood, or everyday life. I take breaks and rest when my body asks for it but I try to live each day doing things that brings normalcy to my everyday life. If there is something you love to do, let it inspire and motivate you to get better and try to continue in that effort everyday. Celebrate your life (even) with cancer. Don’t let it win! I wish you luck, blessings and love!! Stay strong, continue your fight and celebrate your gift of life!!
With a grateful heart, thank you for reading and letting me share my very personal story with you.
Rose Angel Lopez
Below, I’ve included a few snapshots of me and my sister in the hospital (and my swollen feet and all!)
Although it’s only been a little over two weeks, I feel like it’s been months since my last blog post. I truly miss creating content and posting it here on the blog. Today, I would like to share why I’ve been MIA. If you are new to my site, I am an ovarian cancer survivor and after my initial diagnosis in 2006, my cancer has been stable since 2010…that was the case until just recently.
In early October, I went for my routine 3-month CT scan. These routine scans help the doctor keep a close eye on my cancer and see how the treatments are working. Some of the medicines worked, while others failed. However, I was always lucky enough to try a new treatment with the hopes of it working.
The day arrived when me and my significant other anxiously sat in the patient room, awaiting the news from my Oncologist to see if this new treatment is working on keeping the disease stable. While I took a deep breath, deep inside I had a feeling good news is not what I will hear. We here a knock on the door and it’s my Oncologist and the nurse. In my doctor’s hands, was the results of the CT scan. With a soft smile, she asked how I was doing (for me that was code for – “I don’t have good news”). She sat on the stool and rolled closer to me and said “let’s talk about your results”. “Here we go”, I thought. She proceeded to identify each tumor from the last CT report and compared how much more growth each one had. Not to mention the fact that new areas were reported. While I suspected that I was not going to receive good news, I was not expecting to hear…your disease has progressed to the point that we should be thinking of surgery or chemo. All I remember is feeling the tears roll down my face and my heart breaking in two as I look over to my beloved partner breaking down. The next step was to speak with the surgeon the following day to see what his assessment was. My oncologist apologized for the news and left us in the room to give us time to gather ourselves and process the news. As the doctor and nurse left the room and the door shut behind them, my partner and I embraced and cried.
“Now?! Why now?! This is so unfair”, I whispered with a shaky voice. “We have scheduled wedding plans for next year!”. You see we were engaged last year in December. You can read a bit about it here and here. “Why is this happening now?” For that one instant, we felt powerless, hopeless and I felt the overwhelming feeling of…”am I going to die?” We wiped our tears and reminded ourselves that this is not our first rodeo! We’ve been here before and we will fight again!! We cannot lose hope or faith!
The next morning, we sat in an office with the surgeon and he expressed that since I am ‘asystematic’, it would be best to hold off on surgery because the likelihood of me needing surgeries in my lifetime is great and if we can prolong it as far as we can, it would be ideal. While we spoke in depth about the pros and cons of having surgery, I certainly did not like the alternative…chemo! We asked if we can be put back on a treatment that helped stabilize my cancer for three years, as a possible option. The surgeon agreed to speak with my oncologist to see if that was a doable option in my case.
The following week, we get a call from both doctors and they agreed to put me back on treatment that once worked for me. We would try it for a period of 3-months. If after the third month, the CT results show no improvement, we are to proceed with surgery. After hanging up the phone with the doctors, I expressed to my lifelong partner that the future is to unknown, and we cannot take any risk on the hope that everything will turn out ok, so we collectively decided to cancel our 2017 wedding plans. We decided to forgo our wedding, not wait and instead plan an intimate private ceremony and had a little over a month to make it happen. We called all of our vendors and they were all gracious enough to accommodate our new date in such short notice. We felt the love and support from all of them and we were estatic that everything was falling into place.
On Thursday, October 27, 2016, we went to NYC for my treatment and I was feeling fine the whole afternoon until we arrived at my father’s house. I was crawled in a fetal position on my father’s sofa with a feeling of flu-like symptoms. I took two Tylenol’s and was able to sleep through the night. The next morning, we packed our things to head back to Pennsylvania and during the car ride back, I had pain in my tailbone that intensified by the hour. Joint pain was a side effect of this treatment drug I was on but I never experienced this type of pain and so sudden. A prescription of pain medication was ordered for me to pick up at the drugstore. The pain meds did not help me and instead made me nauseous. Around 3:00am, we decided to go to the ER. After a second visit to the ER, I was admitted and stayed in the hospital for 7-days. Without going into every detail, after another CT, MRI, X RAY, and Sonogram, my oncologist in NY reviewed the CT scan and had it compared from my earlier one in October. It revealed that I had two tumors that increased in size (bizarre, since my type of ovarian cancer is slow-growing). Well, in layman’s term…my cancer has bleed within itself causing it to grow in size. The location of these tumors are in areas of my body that is causing pain and discomfort. So, the new course of action…surgery.
Because of this sudden emergency, we have once again cancelled our private wedding ceremony since recovery time is 6-8 weeks and I may need chemo afterwards but we find comfort that it will all work out in the end. Today, we went for my pre-op appointment in preparation for Friday’s surgery. Looks like I will be celebrating Thanksgiving in the hospital but in spite of it all, I will be hopeful and grateful for a successful surgery from the work of doctors, grateful for my faith to help get me through this, grateful for healing, grateful for each day God blesses me with on this earth, grateful for the support from my family and close friends, grateful for the love of my life (my rock) for the enormous support you give – no matter what life throws at us, for your unconditional love and for reminding me each and every day for the past 11 years of how much you love me! Life is short, my friends – live each day to the fullest, be sure to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, always go for your annual check-ups and and living a healthy life is helpful too.
I would also like to express my gratitude and thanks to all the nurses out there. During the one week stay at my local hospital, I was cared for by some amazing and wonderful nurses who were kind, considerate, attentive and simply….kind! You’re compassion and hard work does not go unnoticed, in my eyes.
I hope to return to do what I love and grateful for your readership!
Happy Friday, guys! It’s a gloomy day with lots of rain today. I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather but working through it, the best I can. I’ll be taking it easy this weekend. Whatever plans you have for the weekend, hope it’s a good one! Enjoy my favorite finds from around the web…
via: Bauble Bar
Loving the light and delicate look of this Patrinia Choker Set.
via: Hello Delicious
We all know how marble is all the rage and is trending in both fashion and home decor. How about home accessories too – like these marble printed oven pot holder set.
via: Half Baked Harvest
Oh, a must try Apple Butter Cinnamon French Toast Sticks recipe to make this weekend!
via: SkySight Photography
When my friend Autumn of SkySight Photography told me about a Beauty and the Beast inspired family engagement shoot, I was more than happy to assist with some styling ideas and a few of my props to use that would work well. To see the full feature, click here!